what it is: The Egg White Facial is a cheap, natural way to tighten pores, treat acne, and give your skin a beautiful, healthy glow.
why I love it: It’s great for Winter because it does everything you want it to. It softens your skin, controls acne, tightens pores – all without drying your face out which is a major (!) concern at this time of year. Also, this facial apparently is and has been an essential part of the beauty regimens of women with great skin since the days of Cleopatra (and Sweden! France! More words that make women try weird things!). This is what every ‘beauty secret thing’ is ever, except this one actually worked for me.
why you will too: My skin is absurdly sensitive and no things that can be vaguely described as beauty ‘tips and tricks’ ever work for me. Example: AQUAPHOR and EUCERIN, which are both recommended by Doctors…for babies, irritate my skin and make me break out. The only things worse than all the things are things that are organic or have organic ingredients. But for whatever reason, egg whites don’t have a negative effect on my skin. Only positive!
For instance – I had two pimples on my face the first time I tried the facial. By the middle of the day these pimples had shrunk and scabbed over. And by the end of the day when I washed my face, the pimples just fell away. Yes, that’s right. I said they FELL AWAY. It was as if they had never been there at all! And if it works for me, there’s a 98% chance it’ll work for you, too.
how to do it: to do the EWF you need to know how to separate the egg yolk from the egg whites. If you don’t know how to do this you can take a cooking class to learn how. Or you can just cry yourself to sleep because that’s expensive and you don’t have that kind of $$. Or you can just watch a tutorial on youtube while you tell yourself it’s not your fault your mother (who’s offended?) never showed you how to do that*
you will need:
1. Putcher headband on and crack 1 egg open over a bowl and separate the egg whites from the yolk. You can toss the yolk or save it and do weird healthy things with it that I won’t get into here. This is about facials!
2. Lightly stir the egg whites with a clean fork. Some people say you don’t have to do this part. But I say you do. Who will you listen to!?!?
3. Apply the egg whites to your face and neck like you would any kind of normal mask**
4. Once the egg whites dry, rinse them off with warm water***
5. For best results do the egg white facial once a week for the rest of your life.
*1st note: If you’re having trouble picking the real steps out from the sarcastic ones you should go here. This type of instruction-giving is more appropriate for you (do you even know how you got here?).
**2nd note: When you do step 3 it’s not going to look anything like the photos above. Those are purely for show! Cos if I used realistic photos, you’d take one look at them and be all like, “Ew!” And then you’d say I didn’t warn you except I’m warning you now: Egg whites look and feel like you are rubbing the snot of a sick giant on your face! But Cleopatra totally did this too so I guess that makes it ok. OK?
***3rd note: Some directions tell you to wash your face beforehand, others don’t. I prefer to wash my face afterwards, and follow it up with my regular skincare regimen. I also like to do the facial in the morning. Sitting down. Or standing on my head. Or none of those things. It’s up to you. Just make sure to put a crystal facing West under your sink while you do this otherwise this whole thing won’t work!